Sunday, February 5, 2012

The Homophobic Series: Book 2-B-[I] CHAPTER 4 (The Gay Guy Turns Homophobic)


The Homophobic Series Book 2-B [I]: 
(CHAPTER 4) 

"The Gay Guy Turns Homophoibc"
Written by: Adrianne A. Aguilar











November 16, 2009

My sister Mandy has departed on her flight going back to New York after months na nakasama niya ako. It was the longest time na nakasama ko siya ever since she moved at the Big Apple when she pursued her acting career. And I did thank her for the unconditional love na ibinibigay niya sa akin. For sacrificing every bit of her time na nalayo siya with Allen and his cute son, my pamangkin Dominic. I know mum would be proud of her. Ate, thank you!






November 24, 2009

It was a long stressful day, the first client that I had yesterday was a success but there are still things to consider really.





Sa totoo lang when my sister Mandy left she reminded me of the agreement that we made along with my psychologist. That I should be taking only at least one to two clients a month para hindi ako ma-stress, and if I am doing great with my assesement then that is the only time on when I could add up some jobs every month. For the mean time Keiji would be in charge of the other jobs on which he would handle. Okay lang naman sa kanya, tulong na rin niya yun sa akin, we had our other photographer friends na nag pledge na rin na tumulong at sumali.





By Friday may schedule naman ako with my doctor and I hope that everything would go well, I am excited na kasi na ma focus at mag work ng mag work.






November 27, 2009

It was about 3pm when I arrived at Dra. Salonga’s clinic, she then offered some orange juice and we started our session.





“So how are you doing now Dane?” she still looks observant on my movements, but I know I was composed at that time.





“I’m doing good… I really feel nice…” it was so obvious because I was all smiles.






“That’s great to hear… By the way I was really impressed with the wall of art that you had created, and by the way thank you for inviting me… I am just curious, can you tell me more on why you did put up that wall of frames at your studio?” as she continued on jotting down some notes while we talk.






So I decided to explain my real motive kung bakit ko nga naisip na gawin yun. Na-discuss ko lang kasi yun with my closest friends. She patiently listened, I know kasi she was just focused na nakatingin sa akin.





“So how do you feel about that, with the fact that you have deviced a plan to at least move on to the next chapter of your life…” her face was still blank, and emotionless.





“Hmmm… Mixed feelings really, masaya naman ako that everything is doing well. I can’t hide the fact that I am still longing for him, pero lately iba na ang perspective ko sa mga bagay bagay…” I sincerely told her.





And then she smiled, hindi ko alam kung ano ang ibig sabihin nun, pero I think it was very significant. I never had seen her smile ever since we had sessions together. Ganun lang talaga siguro ang tamang approach ng mga psychologist with their patients, o kaya hindi ko lang napansin before kasi I was distracted with the things that had happen.






December 1, 2009

This marks the start of the Christmas season, (although pag “-ber months” na somehow Christmas season na rin). Nakakatuwa nga at least at marami kaming expected clients this month, kasi aside from the month of June marami ding nagpapakasal ng month of December. But the thing is I only get the chance to handle two events, este tatlo na pala, my assesement went well last time na pinayagan ako ni Dra. Salonga to add another slot kasi I am doing some improvement naman daw.





This was also the time na mag-isip ng concept na ilalagay ko sa show window namin. Then from nowhere it just blurted out of my mind… “The many faces of Christmas”.





And so I just took of the road and started taking some photos na pwede kong iin-corporate with this idea. After long hours of taking pictures, from street children along the streets to the most families who dines out for dinner, to people who helps each other in times of crisis, kahit ano, basta I feel na socially relevant ang theme, pasok yun sa concept ko. What a day it is for me, but so far nakita ko naman na promising ang idea ko na to,






December 3, 2009

Reveal Day.





I’ve chosen the photo on the wedding of my very first photography job which happened in Ilocos as my show window centerpiece. It was a picture of the bride and the groom with the blue sky and the white towering windmills of Ilocos as their background. But why make it colored? I decided to frame it by putting smaller black and white pictures of daily Filipino life, to complete the effect. But why put a colored picture as my centerpiece but in contrary I’m into black and whites?





At first that fact also baffled me, but I later realized, yes, I may specialize in black and white photography, but it’s Christmas! A splash of color wouldn’t actually hurt, am I right?





As a finishing touch I just asked for a firm that specializes on putting letterings on show windows, and there the said slogan was written, “The many faces of Christmas.”






December 7, 2009

I went into this meeting with a client at about lunchtime, it was about five in the afternoon na rin ng nakabalik ako sa studio because of some things na dinaanan ko. When I was about to close the glass door of my shop, I noticed that this black Mercedes parked in front of my shop just adjacent to my newly created show window. And then the car windows suddenly rolled open, dumungaw ang isang babae, she was wearing Chanel sunglasses. She then guided her hands to somehow put the glasses off, so that she could take a peek on the pictures that I posted on my window.





And then I saw her grinning, she then puts her sunglasses back and somehow managed to leave swiftly.






Hindi ko nga namalayan na umalis siya, she’s after all one classy looking lady. Let’s just say that na mesmerized ako.





After a while napaisip ako, she seems familiar but I am not that sure if I do personally know her or not.






December 8, 2009

Ewan ko, nasanay na yata ako na nililinis ang show window ng shop ko, mga once a week siguro. Para maappreciate naman ng mga dumaraan ang kung ano man ang nakikita nila. Pero this would be the first week na lilinisin ko ito na nakapost yung bago kong concept for Christmas. And in some bizarre manner, ngayon lang nag sink in ang lahat ng nilagay ko sa nasabing show window.





Siguro dahil sa umpisa, naappreciate ko man siya, sa ibang aspeto nga lang, like sa aesthetics nito. Pero pag tumatagal, somehow mas nakukuha ko na ang meaning. Mas nagiging bukas ang isip ko, mas lumilinaw ang mensahe na gustong iparating nito sa akin.





Most of the pictures na napili ko, unawarely family oriented. Family, A boy na sinusubuan ng food ang little sister niya. A father who plays a kite with his children. A family whose about to go into church. Maybe that is another thing na dapat kong pagtuunan ng pansin ngayon.





December 10, 2009

The evening was rather cold, although it was quite hot this morning. It is a good thing that I am wearing this sweater that I bought weeks ago.





I then parked my car along this restaurant that I am supposed to dine-in. Upon entering the establishment, I was designated to the table that I had reserved early this morning. Mukhang napaaga ako. And then I received this text message.





“We just saw you enter the restaurant, papasok na rin kami…”





And after a couple of minutes, there they are, Jenny and her partner Nemo approaching my table. And then I stood up,





“Good eveving Jenny, Good evening to you too Nemo” I first gave Jenny a handshake and then to Nemo.





“Shall we have a seat?” I then invited them, I was about to assist Jenny on her chair when Nemo was also about on a gesture on offering her a seat.





“Oh I am sorry…” I told Nemo. I just felt awkward. Partner nga pala ni Nemo si Jenny. Ewan ko ba kung ano ang naisip ko.






“Don’t worry pare. It’s just fine.” And Nemo just gave me this grin, and then we decided to have a seat.






Upon seating, there was a deafening silence. Siguro mga three minutes din yun na wala kaming masabi sa isa’t isa.






And then I decided to break the silence, “So, shall we now order?”






Instead na sagutin ni Jenny and tanong ko, she just took my hand and she held it with her two hands. And then she spoke.





“Have you already thought about it?” her hands were cold, a bit shaky. I could see it in her eyes the anticipation of what I have for an answer to her question.





I just paused for a bit, I remembered looking down, and then tumingin ako sa kanila. And then I bit my lip.





“Yes, I already thought about it.” I told them.





I later knew that I gave them a vague answer when Jenny asked me, “Yes in what sense of yes Dane?”





“Yes, I’ll go for it… I’ll help you out with it…” as I confirm the good news to them.





“Thank you Dane, Thank you…” I could see tears on Jenny’s eyes.






Napatayo si Nemo and he just gave me a tap by my shoulder. “Salamat pare, salamat!” at napayakap na lang siyang bigla.






I also felt nice after breaking to them my news na pumayag nako with their favor about me donating my sperm for Jenny’s attempt of having a baby by artificial insemination. Jenny and Nemo wanted to have their own child on which Nemo cannot do for technically she’s still a woman. But there is one thing that Jenny and I have agreed on. Pinag-isipan ko na rin kasi after this past few days. I have also asked her a favor if she could bear twins. I am also longing for a child of my own. I just realized it just days ago. That I wanted to be dad. That I wanted to be a father, a father that would give an unconditional love for his child.





And in the middle of this emotional news, “So I guess these calls for a celebration!” Nemo suggested. It was their treat that night.






Nakakatuwa nga eh, at least open minded kami with this kind of options. Dumating pa sa point that we ended up talking about baby names of some sort. Doon ko rin nalaman na Nemo and Jenny wants to have a daughter of their own. And as for me, I wanted to a have a baby boy, Raine and I’s baby boy.






December 15, 2009

It was a drizzling Tuesday night. Jessica and baby Red went into their their tita’s place somewhere in Las Piñas kasi birthday today ng tiyahin ni Jessica, she did tried to invite me, kaso I have to decline medyo busy kasi sa ginagawa for this particular client. And as for Keiji my photographer buddy, he has this wedding event at the Inter-Continental Hotel in Makati. As for me, I am just here in my shop, tinatapos yung last details sa editing ng video nung kauna-unahang client ko (this is the same reason kaya hindi ako nakasama sa invite ni Jessica my assistant). Hindi ko man nga lang namalayan na it is almost nine in the evening na pala. After putting some finishing touches sa ginagawa ko, I decided to hit on the save button para makapag pahinga. It was a very meticulous process kaya medyo napagod ako. Sa wakas at nakapag-unat din. Hehehe. And then I decided to go to our pantry so that I could have some cup of coffee. Tamang-tama ang kape at medyo malamig ang panahon, for a fact na pinatay ko na ang air-con sa shop.





After kong uminom ng kape, I immediately went into the lounge to check the place out. Malinis at organize na tao talaga tong si Jessica. Nakuha pa niyang mag-aayos ayos dito sa shop bago sila umalis patungo sa birthday party ng tita niya.





Mukha namang okay ang shop bago ako umalis, kaya ayun kinuha ko na sa opisina ko ang aking portfolio and the rest of my things para makauwi na. Nag punta ako sa mga switch ng ilaw which I decided na ilagay strategically along sa front desk ng lounge and I started to turn off every bit of light sa lahat ng room ng shop. The very last lighting fixture na papatayin ko was the show window. But I have noticed something sa kadiliman ng shop, sa harap ng show window was a lady wearing this black corporate suit. She was being illuminated by the light coming from my said show window. She was glowing. Very radiant, but as I look unto her face, as I observe her very facial expression. I felt something different. As if she wanted something out of nothing. Ewan ko ba, yun lang ang feeling ko. Titig na titig siya sa pictures sa show window ko.





And then I went outside, naalala ko medyo umaambon pa nga. Naka-park yung Mercedes nya sa harapan ng shop ko.





“M’am, can I help you with anything?” I politely asked her.






“Oh my, I am very sorry. Pasara na ba kayo? I didn’t notice the time.” She answered hurriedly. And I just noticed that she was wiping her eyes with her handkerchief that she just got from her Hermes handbag.





I was just about to answer that I could accommodate her even if I am about to leave but she then said, “What a question, anyways, I’ll just be back next time.” She was about to leave, when somehow I had managed to introduce myself.





“I am Denmark Ramsey-Sto.Domingo. You could just call me Dane.” And I handed her a business card of mines on which I just pulled from my wallet.





“Oh, I know that this is quite awkward for me to do Mr. Sto. Domingo. I mean being emotional. By the way I am Anya Marie Ferrer.” And she handed me her business card.





Eureka! That is why she looks familiar to me. She’s a journalist, the last time I saw her was in the news. She was covering the plane crash that my Raine was into. Medyo hindi ko lang siya naalala dahil sa mga pangyayari sa buhay ko, kahit panunuod ng TV yata inayawan ko. And hindi ko namalayan nakasakay na pala ng kanyang kotse si Ms. Ferrer.





“I’ll surely be back Mr. Sto. Domingo. I’ll be back…” and she shook my hand and her very fancy car just rolled away.





December 20, 2009

What a very hectic week it is for me… But I think it is all worth it. This marks the finish of my first ever challenge. My first ever client already arrived in time. They were about to pick up their wedding momentos. Usually it takes more time for editing a video composition and usually mas nahuhuli ang pagbibigay nito, pero tinutukan ko talaga. I had consecutive sleepless nights na even sa bahay pinag tuunan ko talaga ng pansin ang detalye nito.





Mark and Johanna were very much pleased with the results. She was so happy that she eventually cried…





“Hannah…” as his husband Mark called her. “Come on sweetie, please don’t cry…” and he comforted his wife by giving her a hug.





“I know that this may sound cliché, but I do really love the results… Thank you Dane…” Johanna sincerely said, and they both gave me a handshake.





“I should be the one who should be thanking you two… That is for entrusting me to capture every joyous moment in this new milestone in your lives…” I told them with my very sincere smile, and after that I had a surprise to both of them. I had recopied three 8”x10” wedding portraits of the couple from their wedding. And I told them that I was about to post one picture at the wall of memories that I had created. The first portrait was a picture of them taken from the pre-nuptial shoot. The other one was a shot of them on their wedding day as a form of silhouette and the third one was a fun shot on a bench while both of them were staring at each other.





“I can’t really choose. Lahat sila maganda…” sabi ni Johanna.





“Can you give us like 2 minutes?” tanung ni Mark.





“Oh sure, just take you time.” I told them. Tamang-tama naman Jessica was about to serve some freshly squeezed orange juice for our clients.  





And then there was it. They already had made a decision.





“We’ll pick this one…” And they pointed on the third one, the fun shot.





“Oh that was easy…” I jokingly told them.





“Actually mahirap pumili ano, kung pwede lang yung tatlo ang piliin eh…” Johanna said.





“Hmmm… Hindi rin kasi pwede… kasi yung dalawang natira, ibibigay ko talaga sa inyo…” as I surprise both of them.





“Really?” biglang nasabi ni Mark. And you could see the smiles of that very cute young couple.





Mas natuwa pa sila ng makita nila ng isabit ko na ang photo nila sa wall of memories.





Hanggang sa nakaalis sila, hindi naalis ang mga ngiti sa mag-asawang yun.





“How sweet for a very young couple. I just hope I could have my own happy ending…” nasabi bigla ni Jessica, hindi ko naman sinasadyang narinig.





“Of course you would… Lahat naman tayo are entitled to have our own happily ever after di ba?” and I just gave her a grin.





“Sorry Dane, I didn’t mean to say that…” you could see the regret on her face.





“Jessica… Wala yun. Eh sa totoo naman na you and me, may karapatan din na lumigaya at some point of our lives, parang second chance ba?” I told her, and napangiti na lang siya. Tamang tama naman na narinig naming umiiyak si baby Red.





“Dane, please excuse me for a while…” paalam ni Jess. It so happen na nag ring naman ang mobile phone ko.





It was an unregistered number. Sinagot ko naman ito kaagad. It was Paolo, Emina’s assistant. Naalala ko yung boses niya kasi he invited me na I exhibit yung iba sa mga works ko sa showroom nila.





“Yes Paolo, how are you? And how’s Ms. Emina…” I suddenly asked him.





Instead of answering my query he just gave me this invite na pinasasabi ni Ms. Emina. Kung okay lang daw na lumuwas daw ako on this coming days and spend the Christmas with her.





Of course I didn’t decline. It’s time na rin na bisitahin ang mga kaibigan ko sa bukid most especially si Emina.





“Actually I was planning to call her later today, kaso mukhang nabasa na niya ang isip ko. Sige I’ll surprise her. I’ll be there by tomorrow.” I told Paolo the news.





Nakakatuwa naman, it is very timely na katatapos lang ng first ever kong gawa, and the rest of the projects or jobs ay sina Keiji muna and my other colleagues ang incharge. Jessica adviced me that I should take a time off muna at least ma enjoy ko naman ang holiday season. Pero the question is, ma-enjoy ko nga ba? Well Dane it is for you to find out…








NEXT:
The Homophobic Series Book 2-B [I]: 
(CHAPTER 5) 
"The Gay Guy Turns Homophobic" 

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