The Homophobic Series: Book 2-B [I] CHAPTER 8 (The Gay Guy Turns Homophobic)

The Homophobic Series Book 2-B [I]: 

(CHAPTER 8) 

"The Gay Guy Turns Homophobic"
Written by: Adrianne A. Aguilar


Hello Kissers! Wow more than a year bago ako nakapag update, thank God at nasimulan ko na ulit! Maraming Salamat sa pag hihintay... 
(Sensya na sa mga errors, wala nakong time i proof read)

continuation from Chapter 7:
http://boykissesbydane.blogspot.com/2012/10/coming-soon-this-friday-homophobic.html

“Salamat Mr. Veraperez, medyo in a hurry na rin ako, I’ll just ride on a cab. Text text na lang for the other details.” Pilit ko pa rin ikinubli ang aking sarili, and for the last time, he smiled at me again.

I exited at Ayala Avenue. My hands are all wet di ko makuhang inumin ang ice cold drink na iniabot nya sa akin at sa halip, naihambalos ko pa ito sa isang granite pillar ng isang building, at pinag susuntok ko pa ito. Ang tanging nagawa ko lang ay lumuha ng lumuha… Walang tigil na pag luha hanggang sa umuwi ako sa bahay sa Bel-Air ganun pa rin ang tanging naramdaman ko, na as if I am in this impossible nightmare. I was lost, lost in this labyrinth that fate has put me in.

***********

That was the point na I became numb. Numb sa lahat ng bagay, sa pamilya ko at sa mga kaibigan. I rarely visit Jenny pa nga on how she is doing with her pregnancy on our kids. All I can think of now is focus on work, work and more work.

I isolated myself sa mga invites sa parties or gatherings, as in I missed a lot, to the point na unawarely nasasaktan ko na naman ang mga tao sa paligid ko.

March 26, 2010

Lumapit si Jessica sa akin, “Dane, remind ko lang today yung 1^st birthday ni baby Red, iniwan ko sa table mo three days ago yung invitation, I just hope na makapunta ka…” she said with a bit of hesitance dahil ramdam nya na I am not in the mood for any talk, nararamdaman ko na kahit sila na staff na itinuring ko ng kapamilya ay napapalayo na sa akin.

I didn’t respond, umiling lang ako, sagot na I can’t make it sa party today.

“Please Dane… Sana you’ll be there… Alam mo naman na hindi makukumpleto ang lahat kung…” hindi ko na nahayaang patapusin pa si Jessica.

“I told you hindi ako pupunta…” I said in a high modulated voice, “makukumpleto ang lahat? Makakapagparty kayo ng wala ako, so leave me alone okay?”

Tamang-tama naman na narinig ni Keiji ang usapan namin na iyon. “Pare, ano bang problema mo? Iniimbita ka lang sa birthday ng inaanak mo, pwede ka na naman sumagot ng maayos…”

Wala na nahibang nako, sumagot na lang ako ng, “Yan kasi si Jessica ang kulit kulit… When I told you to leave… Just leave! Mga engot ba kayo?”

“Please Keiji, wag na kayong mag talo, naiintindihan ko naman si Dane… Please hayaan na lang natin syang mapag-isa…” nagmamakaawa na si Jessica, sumabay pa ang pag-iyak ni baby Red. They were about to walk away... ng nasabi ko…

“Ass-hole…”

Nag init na ang ulo ni Keiji, that was the time ng hinablot na nya ako with my shirt “Whattafuck pare? You are better that this, sa tingin mo sa ngayon sino ang nagmumukhang asshole? Tang-ina pare, tae ka. Tae. You do have a shitty life na kahit balikan ka pa ni Raine wala na syang babalikan sayo… Naiintindihan mo iyon? Ilang linggo na rin kaming nag-titiis ni Jessica sayo, nag aadjust kami thinking na you are just on this phase, pero to treat us like we are just some piece of shit. Tang-ina, mas tae pa ang buhay mo ngayon…” and he pushed me back on my office chair, “Jessica come on…” tawag ni Keiji, kitang kita ko naman ang mga mata ni Jessica na tila ay ayaw akong iwan, wala na lang syang magawa dahil inaya na sya ni Keiji.

That was the point when my bubble bursted, a sign na nawala na ang mahahalagang tao sa paligid ko.

Hindi nga ako nabaliw, but the feeling is still the same. Ang bigat bigat ng pakiramdam ko.

Kahit ang mga tawag ni Ate Mandy ay hindi ko sinasagot. Naging laman ako ng mga bars every other day. Buti na lang nagagawa ko pa ang aking trabaho ngunit napansin ng aking mga customers na may nagbago sa aking mga style lately, mas naging dark at malungkot ang atake.

March 27, 2010

Ng mga sumunod na araw ay purely business na talaga ang pinag uusapan sa opisina, gustuhin mang umalis ni Keiji sa negosyo ay may shares na rin naman sya rito. While si Jessica, hindi naman nakakalimot na iwan ako ng pagkain sa mesa, minsan kinakain ko minsan kapag nawala na sa sarili ay di ko ng makuhang pansinin.

Sa mga sususnod na araw at linggo naging madalang na ang pagtawag ni Ate Mandy, napansin ko na mukhang kay Jessica na sya nangangamusta.

Mga text naman ang natatanggap ko kina Jenny at Nemo patungkol sa kalagayan ng dinadala nyang mga sanggol, mabuti naman ang kanilang kalagayan.

Mas lumalala yata ang mga pangyayari dahil sa mga sumunod na buwan ay napapadalas ang pagbisita ni Ms. Anya Marie Ferrer sa shop, ihahatid sya ni Dan Veraperez, at aalis din ito, for the whole time na nasa shop ay magkukwento ito tungkol sa mga recent trips nila sa iba’t ibang lugar sa loob at labas ng Pilipinas.

Minsan pumapasok tuloy sa aking isip what if ako mismo ang gumagawa noon kasama ang pinakamamahal ko, ngunit, wala na sya, wala na si Raine na nagpapatibok ng puso ko.

Isang araw sa mga pagbisita ni Anya, out of nowhere, ewan ko ba biglang bumulalas sa aking bibig ang isang tanong, isang tanong na sa tingin ko, dati ko pa dapat naitanong sa kanya… Madalas kasi ay nakikinig at sumasangayon lang ako rito.

“So how did you meet Dan?” it was just a simple question na napakalaman, there are lots of possibilities, ngunit gusto ko lang malaman mismo sa babaeng nagpakilala sa akin sa kanya.

“Ah eh…” sagot ni Anya. Namumuo ang pawis nito sa noo.

“Ano ka ba Dane, na I kwento ko na sayo un di ba?” pasintabi ni Anya sa akin.

Ngunit hindi maiguhit ang aking mukha, senyales na hindi ko maintindihan ang kanyang paliwanag.

“Okay mukhang di ko pa nga yata naikukwento…” napabuntong hininga naman ito. “Actually, matagal na kaming mag-kakilala nyan si Dan.” Sabay lunok ng kanyang laway, “Pero ng mga nakaraang taon lang kami nagkaroon ng steady relationship. He has been working in the network siguro junior reporter pa lang ako noon, at ayun nag krus ang landas namin sa isang corporate event. Before I knew it, nakasama ko na rin sya sa show, at ayun doon na nagsimula un…” after nyang ipaliwanag yun ay as if nakahinga na sya ng maluwag.

Well as for me, gusto ko lang talaga marinig ang side ng kanilang pagkakakilala, she doesn’t owe me any explanation. Habang tumatagal kasi mas nawawalan na ako ng pakiramdam, manhid na ang buo kong katawan, tuwing si Dan Veraperez na ang pag uusapan.

And speaking of the devil,

“Anya shall we?” si Dan na pala yun, hindi ko namalayan na dumating na pala sya, “So Dane, kikidnapin ko muna itong future bride ko ha…” and he gave me this manly reserved smile.

“Ayy honey, Thank God at nasundo mo nako… Haha… Si Dane mukhang he is a bit under the weather today… Anyways, Dane mauna na kami…” at bumeso na sa akin si Ms. Ferrer.

“Got to go Dane, see you next time!” and they have bid their farewell.

At ayun, balik ulit with my same usual boring life.

Tulala sa wall of memories, na halos half filled na ng mga events namin ng mga nakaraang buwan.

Sa gitna ng aking katamikan, nagulat ako ng tumunog ang aking pintuan, “knock, knock” “Dane?”

Kumabog ang aking dib dib, “Si Dan yun bakit pa sya bumalik?” pinagbuksan ko naman sya.

And there he was at my office door, hinihintay ko na sambitin nya ang aking pangalan, at sabihin na nag balik na ang pinakamamahal kong si Raine.

“Ahhhmmmm… Sorry… Naistorbo ba kita?” tanong ni Mr. Veraperez.

Natulala ako sandali ngunit ng naramdaman na I am acting awkwardly sumagot naman ako ng, “Hindi naman…”

“Sorry, naiwan kasi ni Anya sa table mo yung mobile phone nya… Eh hindi na sya bumaba ng sasakyan mukhang napagod ata…” paghingi nya ng paumanhin.

Dali dali naman akong sumagot ng, “Ah okay lang, sige kukunin ko na…” Dali dali naman akong tumakbo sa mesa,

“Hindi Dane, ako na lang…” as if nakipagpaligsahan pa si Dan.

At bago ko pa marealize, nanlaki ang mata ko ng makita kong nagkahawak ang aming mga kamay.

~AWKWARD~

“Ayy Sorry pare…” sagot ko sa kanya.

“Ano ka ba Dane wala yun…” sagot nito sa akin, “Mauna nako ha… Salamat ulit…” ng palabas na sya ng pinto,

“Dan wait…” biglang bumulalas na naman sa aking bibig.

Sabi ko subconsciously sana hindi nya narinig, “Ano yun Dane?” ngunit huli na ang lahat.

“Can I invite you over coffee?” un lang bigla ang lumabas sa isip ko.

Hindi ko tuloy alam at hindi na naprocess ng utak ko ang reaction ni Dan sa aking imbitasyon.

Defensively inexplain ko na lang ung sinabi ko, “Hey hey don’t get me wrong dude, this is purely business… Si Anya kasi madalas ang nakakausap ko, gusto ko lang makuha ung point of view mo sa upcoming wedding nyo…” ay salamat nakalusot.

“Ahh yun ba… Sige, I am free this weekend…” walang ka abog abog namang sinagot ni Raine este ni Dan pala.

And we have parted ways.

Hayyyy…

Gago, gago, gago…

Habang tinatapik ko ang aking utak ng aking kamay, ano ba ang iniisip mo Dane at inimbita mo pa sya para magkape? Date? Hahaha! I am really going insane na talaga.

Mas lalo pa akong nabaliw ng natanggap ko itong text message:

Dane, nasabi sakin ni Dan yun invite mo over the weekend,

Gusto ko talaga maging involve sya sa wedding process namin.

Salamat for initiating… xoxo

-Anya Marie Ferrer

+6392114380**

Anya at Dan… Dan at Anya… Dan… Bibiyakin nyo talagang dalawa ang ulo ko…

~*~

March 31, 2010

I pulled a pinstriped shirt over my wardrobe. I’ve checked if every bit of my facial hair was already shaved, (since I’ve been sporting a scruffy look lately).

“What am I doing? Bakit ba nag-agree ako with his invite? Gago ka talaga Dane, Gago!” but deep inside me I know that I was ecstatic to see him.

Dahan-dahan ko pang inayos ang aking buhok, not a hair out of place.

Upon going at the parking lot I’ve check my very clean car, kagagaling ko lang sa Baclaran church earlier so I’ve decided to bring it along to the cleaners. Bakit ba sobra ang paghahanda ko today.

I was about to start my car when I’ve heard my phone’s tone. At first I was a bit hesitant na tignan, but ginawa ko pa rin ang dapat ko gawin, it was him, it was Dan Veraperez who texted:

Hey Dane,

See you at the Dome Café at Shangri-la Mall later,

I’ve made a reservation there…

Hopefully it is all set…

Dan Veraperez

+63927*******

I don’t really know on how I would really respond to his text message. But in the end I have managed to give him a decent reply:

Thanks, I’ll be there

~My Number

“Simple but vague” vague nga ba? Hahaha… Nababaliw na naman ata talaga ako na kahit mismong mga text messages ko pinagtatawanan ko.

Upon arriving at the said place, pansin ko na pawisan nako, it is the summer season anyway kaya sabi sa news mas titindi pa ang init because of the High Pressure Area in the Metro.

Pinunasan ko muna ang sarili ko bago ko tanungin ang server from Dome Café about Dan’s reservation.

To my relief nauna akong dumating sa kanya, dahil sa totoo lang kinakabahan ako if ever I would be the one na mag aapproach sa kanya. I was then ushered in a couched table alongside the windows, a very cozy place to lounge while waiting for him.

I decided to distract myself para di ako kabahan, I’ve decided to pick my phone and started playing a game installed unto it.

But here we go again a text from him just came suddenly.

Dane, I am already at Shangri-la’s vicinity,

I am just having a hard time parking my car,

Kindly wait for me, my apologies.

Dan Veraperez

+63927*******

And I just answered briefly:

Sure, anyways I’ve just arrived here at the café.

~My Number

Ewan ko ba, bakit kinakabahan ako, anu ba kasi ang naglalaro sa isip ko, na this is like sort of a date?

And then from a distant I saw him passing, and he talked to the restaurant’s doorman and he was ushered in palapit sa akin. Dahan dahan ko syang tinignan. With the way he stood, the way he walked the way he dressed up.

"He’s not Raine really… Wake up!” Sabi ko sa sarili ko.

“Hi Dane! Kamusta?” and then smiled, at natunaw ako sap ag-kakaupo ko. Gusto ko ng ma convince na sya nga ang Raine ko.

And then Dan Veraperez reached his hand to me... A man's gonna do what's he suppose to do...

And so he just sat there maybe thinking on where he would start.

Napansin ko rin na mayroon syang dalang bag, but it was not just any ordinary kind of bag.

"Napansin mo na pala..." ang sabi ni Mr. Veraperez while pointing to the said bag.

And in response tumango lang ako.

"Well anyways mamaya na ito, umorder muna kaya tayo... It is my treat..." and then inabot nya ang isa sa menu card na inabot sa kanya ngayon ngayon lang ng isang server.

Maraming nag lalaro sa isip ko ngayon, obviously since I am a photographer alam ko kung ano ang laman ng bag na iyon.

"So have you made up your mind yet?" As he asked me about my choice of food.

Well I have been in this restaurant before so it was really a unanimous choice for me, "I'll just have the chef's special please, and a freshly squeezed mango juice."

"And how about some dessert?" Dan said while smirking.

"Oh thank you but I am not really into desserts lately..." I politely declined, but to my surprise somehow Dan agreed with me.

"Yeah me too, pass din ako sa desserts lately" as he explain while browsing the menu card.

In no time he had placed his order as well... Some fresh green salad, with tossed mixed vegetables and slices and strips of chicken, he has specifically asked the server if he can get the white meat part of the chicken. And maybe some reduction to the fat content of the dressing.

That is another thing na napansin ko sa kanya, he is very cautious with what he eats, very opposite ng Raine ko na halos makaubos ata ng isang bucket of chicken from KFC.

Our drinks were then served first. He just got some Perrier for his drink. He eventually started the conversation.

"Masaya ako at pinaunlakan mo ang aking imbitasyon" as he had a sip of some ice cold Perrier.

"Masaya sya? What does he mean by that? Nakakaalala na kaya sya?" As I gave give this puzzled look.

Siguro napansin nyang tahimik lang ako kaya sya na talaga ang nag initiate na pag usapan kung bakit nga ba kami naruruon.

"By the way Dane I hope you don't mind, siguro naman somehow you do have an idea na kung bakit may dala ako na bag na ganito?" paliwanag ni Dan sakin.

"Yes that is one big camera bag..." sabi ko sa kanya.

"Yup, Anya gave this to me as a gift. Sabi nya kasi na it is now time for me to have an outdoor hobby." As he continuously explain, "You see I am a homebuddy here... You may be wondering I do directing for a TV show, pero here I am, about to ask you things about handling a photographic camera..."

"He is asking me to be his mentor?" Mas lalo akong kinabahan ibig sabihin ba nito mas lalo ko pa syang makakasama.

"Syempre iba pa rin ang still photography, that is why I would like to ask you if I can be your apprentice... that is if you dont mind" he sincerely told me.

I was caught off guard, there was a part of me na hesitant gawin un, but "Yes I would be glad to help you out on this..."

"Wow that's great so I guess it is time for us to have a celebration" Dan was all smiles.

"Celebration?" Again I was puzzled.

"I guess a bottle of fine beer wouldn't hurt right?" And he ordered some.

Well yup I guess that would not hurt that much.

He then showed me the DSLR camera that he was talking about. It was the expensive kind. and the lens was humangous.

Tinuruan ko sya on how to make use of the settings at paano ang tamang focus sa camera as well as choosing a subject. Napansin ko from the other table na there were like this group of men who's checking us out. Nadistract ako by the idea na may tumitingin samin. Clumsy me naibaba ko ung camera sa table and na dip ung part ng strap ng camera sa dressing.

"Oh I am terribly sorry Dan..." at kinuha ko ang aking panyo at pinunasan ito. Buti na lang at kaunti lang ang dumi at sa leatherette part nalagyan at di kumapit sa strap, pero nalagyan din ung kamay ko.

"Hey I need to excuse myself, I'll just wash my hands over the washroom" and then I stood up.

While washing my hands I didn't notice that this guy from the same table that was checking us out earlier was already at my back. He is on his mid 30's I guess.

"Hi I am Stevie, you and your partner are so hot, can we invite you over for some orgy?" he just casually invited me without any hesitations.

"Sorry it seems that you are barking on the wrong tree dude..." I answered in return.

"But it seems you are not the type who doesn't say No for an answer." he was about to touch me when.

"Is this guy bothering you??" It was Dan, he grabbed him by his shirt. He was so strong na kahit alam kong mas matangkad ako sa kanya ay nabuhat nya ang lalaking yun.

Sa takot halos humingi ng sorry ng nakaluhod ung lalaki at umalis din.

"You don't have to do that... I can handle it by myself..." ang sabi ko sa kanya.

"Ayaw ko lang ng mga ganun ung nangbabastos. Sa totoo lang that is the thing ba lagi ko sinasabi sa mga staff ko na wag silang pababastos sa mga ganun. I do also have my fair share ng ganung experiences lalo na sa gym, pero takutan lang yan. I have nothing against gay men, pero sana lumugar sila lalo na ung mga style nilang ganun." it was a relief to hear that Dan is not the homophobic type, well ganun din naman talaga sya even before at alam nya ang about samin ni Raine.

The lunch invite was eventually cut short ng tumawag na si Anya. I also received a text message kay Jessica na kailangan daw ako sa office.

"Lunch was awesome, salamat Dan..."

"Ako ang dapat magpasalamat... Sa uulitin Dane..." and we had that very warm handshake and then we eventually parted ways.

On my way to the office while driving my car, na realize ko na somehow baligtad na ata, Raine is the one or este it is Dan who is doing the saving part and not the other way around, usually ako kasi ang lumiligtas sa kanya sa mga ganun na pagkakataon. Kung si Raine man sya ibang iba sya.

Habang nag mumuni muni ako ay biglang may natanggap akong text, na excite tuloy ako thinking it was him.

Maraming Salamat Dane,

for helping Dan out for a very big favor.

Hopefully masamahan mo sya sa isang event

next week, hopefully you are free.

God Bless!

Anya Marie Ferrer

+6392114380**

Event? Next week? Yung totoo pagkakataon lang ba talaga ito kung bakit kailangan mas mapalapit ako sa kanya.

NEXT:

Chapter 9 - The Homophobic Series Book 2-B [I]:

Letters from Dane [9]

Hi Kissers!

It has been a very long while... Maraming nangyari for a year na hindi ako nakapag post...

First let me take this opportunity to say my apologies sa mga masusugid kong mambabasa... I know kahit kakaunti lang kayo, alam ko kung sino talaga ung masugid na followers... Patawad dahil kay tagal ko kayong pinag hintay...

After reviewing my post/s, ang last Letters from Dane ko was like 2012 pa and ung last story post ko, February 2013 pa...

Hopefully I would start anew and somehow make your reading experience worth while. I know I do have my fair share of critics, pero that's life...

Signs for a new start evident na sa ngayon, I've revamped my blog, I know medyo girly ung palette but that is how I feel nowadays... I am halfway to the story na gusto kong i-update... Kaya kapit lang mga Kissers! Maraming Salamat sa walang sawang pag-subaybay...


Sincerely Sorry,

Dane