The Homophobic Series Book 2-A: (CHAPTER 5) "A Journey to Remember"

The Homophobic Series Book 2-A: 

(CHAPTER 5) 

"A Journey to Remember"

21^st of July 2008

Upon waking up, I could just feel the warmth of our comforter but I had a mild headache. Maybe may hang over pa ako from last night. And then out of nowhere, something had caught my attention. I smell the aroma of freshly cooked tapa. I knew that my Dane had prepared breakfast for me. So I ran towards the kitchen. But when I was on my way to the kitchen, I just ask myself…

“Who brought me back here?” I told myself.

So I continued walking on our hallway going to the dining area.

There was it a complete breakfast meal. A tapsilog set, some hash browns, a hot choco and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. I was indeed very hungry so I decided to grab a bite. I thought my Dane was in the comfort room. So I called on his name… but no one answered.

And then I notice a piece of paper on which was folded into four.

It was from my Dane, and then I started to read it…

Babe,

How do you like your breakfast?

I do know that you wanted your eggs scrambled.

And you do love some freshly squeezed orange juice

in the morning…

Dessert is just inside our refrigerator,

A serving of vanilla ice cream with crushed

Cashews would not actually hurt your diet…

I am booked for today’s flight, maybe as you read this letter

I am already in the plane contemplating on some things…

I’m on my way to the States to fix the crap that my father had caused you

I promise you babe that he won’t do that again. Ever!

Because if he would, he’ll surely pay!

I’ll miss you babe… xoxo

Loving you always,

Domeng

P.S. I’ll make a call as soon as I arrive in the States.

I just smiled upon reading the letter. It has been a while ever since I have read or heard my Dane’s other nickname “Domeng”.

And then again, there was it… My landline phone had ringed again…

I didn’t know if I would answer it or not… It maybe my Dane or his mad dad.

There were three rings… Then four… then five… and I grabbed the handset and answered it on the seventh ring.

“Bakla ka!” the man from the other line said.

“Lucky? Napatawag ka?” I answered.

“Huh? Okay ka lang? Kasama mo lang ako sa Palawan last night… And you were literally drunk…” Lucky said.

“Ikaw pala yun… Oh my nakakahiya sayo… Sorry… Mukha siguro akong tanga nun… I wasn’t really myself last night? Eh, bakit nga pala nandun ka?” I’ve asked him.

“Eh kasi itong dinedate kong si Ivan, ayun hindi lang pala ako ang dinedate… We were like a collection of dates? I thought naman kasi na he’s the one already… Uy teka nga, ikaw ang main topic natin ngayon, bakit nga pala ako napasali…” Lucky reiterated.

“Yeah, I’m sorry… Pasensya ka na kagabi ha. Nakakahiya naman sayo… Come to think of it… Ikaw ba ang naghatid sa akin last night?” I was still puzzled on what had really happen kagabi.

Then Lucky became quiet for awhile.

“Why? May nangyari ba last night na hindi ko alam?” I became mystified with my best friend’s silence.

And then Lucky answered “Well that’s the reason on why I had to make a call to you right now. You see… Last night, muntik nakong jombagin ng asawa mo…” I was stunned with what Lucky had just said.

“Ha? Bakit naman nya gagawin yun?” I asked him.

“Eh kasi ganito yun… When you were very drunk last night… I tried to comfort and console you with your problem friend. By caressing your hands… And God knows na friendly lang yun anu? Lason kaya yun kung tayong dalawa… Anyways… Nung ginawa ko yun, eh tyempo na dumating naman ang asawa mong si Dane… Ayun… He gone berserk and he just grabbed me by my shirt…” as Lucky explained it to me.

“And then what happened? Nasapak ka naman ba niya? Uy, sorry friend… Kasi naman hindi ko pa kayo na iintroduce sa isa’t isa. San ka ba niya sinapak?” as I make my apologies to him.

“OA ka naman… Well, hindi naman niya ako nasapak, buti na lang at namukhaan niya ako sa mga high school pictures natin and I immediately told him what happened…” as my friend continued on explaining.

“Bakit? Anu ba ang sinabi mo sa kanya?” I asked Lucky.

“Well in that instant ang sinabi ko lang was… “Did u really know what had just happened? Your dad had made a call and had told my best friend Raine some homophobic statements and here you are going berserk not knowing the cause of all of this?” well sis, in fairness straight English yun!” as my friend Lucky put some humor on his explanation.

“How did he reacted?” question marks are now flashing in my head.

“Well his face had gone blank. He just said his apologies and invited me to ride in your car. Of course I declined with his invite. Moment nyo yun eh… Pero he insisted…” as Lucky continued his explanation.

“So hinatid ka pa namin hanggang Pasay? Well siya nga pala ang naghatid. Tulog nga pala ako sa kalasingan…” I was a bit giggling on that moment. I can’t believe that I gone mad last night.

“Well sis… He was quiet as if he was like a mute man when he drove me off to Pasay. But when I was about to set off your car your Dane just told me…”

“Thank you Lucky… Thank you for being such a good friend to Raine… I am going to book a flight for tomorrow… Maybe it is now the time for me to pay him a visit… And let him know that I’ll fight for my one true love, and that is your best friend Raine…” and he just smiled and left.

I was awestruck. Dane even told that to my best friend Lucky.

“Well I guess your Dane was referring to his dad on that very moment… Sa totoo lang sis, I needed to be honest… Na in-love ako sa mga sinabi niya that night… Ang sabi ko nga sa sarili ko, It’s too good to be true na mayroon pa palang lalaking ganito… Kaya sabi ko sa sarili ko last night na I should not be loosing hope, that somehow… and someday… I’ll find my one true love…” at napahinga lang ng mamalim ang friendship kong si Lucky.

Well I can’t blame my friend. Lahat naman siguro maiinlove talaga sa tulad niya. Aside from his looks, he has this something that would make your heart tingle. That Dane is also emotionally capable of making you in-love with him all over again… That’s my Dane… If I could just share him to the world just to make it a better place… I certainly would… So that we could achieve world peace! Hehehe! Just kidding! Pero seriously lahat naman yata tayo ang gusto lang ay may magmahal sa atin and in return ay may mahalin naman tayo… Thank you my Dane for loving me with all your heart and I’ll love you too with all my heart! Mwah!  xoxo

22^nd of July 2008

It is the very first time that Dane and I would not be eating lunch together ever since we gone steady. I do still remember the very first time that we had our lunch together. It was when he was pestering that seemingly gay food attendant in that said restaurant. Somehow napangiti ako, ang tagal na rin pala nun… And now my Dane is in the States to fight for what he know is right…

I do miss him dearly by this time. It was just yesterday when he left for the States… Ayy ewan ko ba sayo Raine… Para rin naman sayo ang ginagawa niya di ba?

Then may tumunog while nakapila ako sa office cafeteria… I do know that it was my mobile that’s ringing and I do know that it was Dane… Kinuha ko kagad ang CP ko sa bulsa ko at dali-dali kong sinagot. Shoot! Mahina pa ang signal dito, kaya I decided to leave the line that I’m in. Wala akong pakialam kahit mahaba pa ang ipinila ko sa cafeteria masagot ko lang ang tawag ng Dane ko.

“Hello… Babe?” dali-dali kong sinabi.

“Hi baby ko… Kararating ko pa lang dito. I decided to stay in a hotel… Lunchtime is just an hour ahead… Don’t skip your lunch ha? Have you received my surprise?” as I hear again my Dane’s sweet sounding voice.

“It is about eleven in the morning here babe… I am having my early lunch kasi may emergency meeting ng twelve eh… What about the surprise?” as I explained it to him. I was mystified with the surprise that he was talking about.

“Ah, well I guess it wouldn’t be a surprise after all kasi baka hindi mo maabutan…” as his voice became a bit disappointed.

“Ano po ba yun babe? Please tell me baka naman maabutan ko pa…” as I force him to divulge his surprise to me.

“Hmmm… Just go to my office babe… Nandun yun…” he is not even willing on telling me on what his surprise is all about.

And so I race towards his office, while in the elevator I’ve asked him about his flight and he told me that it was a smooth sailing plane ride. We never had talk about a single thing about the incident with his dad weeks ago.

I was about to open his office door when he told me na palowbat na ang celfone niya… and his call was cut.

And then I went inside his office… but to my surprise… nothing was there… as in nothing extraordinary…

It was about twenty minutes before twelve. Our meeting is about to start and I am still starving. Then someone had knocked on my Dane’s office door. I told the person outside his office to just come in.

“Sir, is this the office of Mr. Denmark Ramsey-Sto. Domingo?” as the man entered the room. He had this package or something.

“Yes, this is the office of Mr. Ramsey-Sto. Domingo, but he is not currently here… He’s on a vacation leave… Anyways… Can I help you with something?” I told him.

“Hmmm… Actually I am actually looking for Mr. Adrian Rios… I was just told by my boss to deliver this gourmet food on Mr. Sto. Domingo’s office…” as the delivery boy explained.

“Oh it’s for me?” this is the surprise that my Dane was talking about awhile ago.

I then received the delivery and gave the man a tip. And then I opened the said delivery box. It was a roasted gourmet chicken with some sautéed vegetables. It was very savory. It has a mixture different of aromas. I was very delighted that I decided to dig on it as soon as I laid my eyes on it.

Then my Dane’s office phone rang from nowhere.

“Mr. Sto. Domingo’s office, how may I help you? This is Raine speaking?” I remembered that there was still food in my mouth on that very moment.

“Baby, hinay hinay lang sa food…” it was my Dane… He was calling from the hotel.

“Ahh okay po. I’m very sorry babe. I’m quite hungry na kasi eh…” I told him as I continued on munching on the gourmet food on his office table.

“Sorry din baby, medyo nahuli yata yung food…” Dane told me.

“No need to be sorry babe… Nagkataon lang na napaaga ung oras ng kain ko.” I answered him back.

“Hmmm… So I guess I should be calling back my friend manager who’s working for that restaurant to make the food delivery in an earlier time? Is quarter to eleven in the morning okay with you babe?” Dane asked me, but I am still puzzled with what he was saying.

“Huh? Deliveries? Eleven in the morning?” I told my Dane.

“Yeah, for the time being. They would be delivering lunch to you babe. Up until I get home. That would be gourmet food everyday. And we already had talk about the terms. It’s all paid for already babe…” Dane reiterated.

Napalunok tuloy ako bigla.

“Babe? Isn’t that too expensive?” napakamot ako sa ulo.

“Just like what I’ve said… my manager friend from the restaurant and I already had a talk about the terms… basta enjoy mo lang po yan ha… ayaw ko ng malilipasan ka ng gutom. The last time na nalipasan ka ng gutom, nagpass out ka and three hours kang nasa clinic…” as he reminded me of that incident months ago.

“Okay po baby… Mwah! Ikaw po? Hindi ka po ba magpapahinga? Have you eaten anything there?” I suddenly asked him.

“I already had a snack here in the hotel’s coffee shop as soon as I arrived here. Hey babe, remind lang kita ha. Dyan ko sa office ko pinadeliver yung food ha… You might forget it kasi eh…” my Dane explained it to me. And then I remembered that I am actually eating inside my Dane’s office. The HR manager’s office that is.

“Oh my, baby… Bawal akong kumain dito… Pag may nakakita sakin tiyak, patay ako…” I was on a hurry on cleaning his desk.

“Babe… Just chill… For now, you’ll be the one who’s going to use my office. I already had made arrangements there. For the mean while, you’ll be the one who’s going to be in charge of the Human Resources Department habang wala ako. I already called Maricar, the operations manager and she said that she has no problem with that. Because she certainly knows your capability babe…” I was blushing by that time, I was indeed speechless.

“Babe okay ka lang?” Dane became worried.

“Ye…ah… I am okay babe… Do you really think that I could handle all of this?” I am a bit skeptical at first.

“No doubt… I know that you can… and you will… I do entrust you with everything… I do believe in you!” and Dane gave me like ten phone kisses.

“Hmmm… Okay po… Mwah!” I already had finished my lunch.

Then someone had knocked again on my Dane’s office door.

“Mr. Rios the meeting is about to start…” Dane’s secretary Jessica reminded me of my schedule. She just came from early lunch too.

“Oh sige na po, you might get late with the meeting. I already had instructed Jessica on everything. She’ll just assist you on everything. Kaya mo yan babe! Mwah!” and I could feel his smile transcend from the States to the phone here in the Philippines.

“Sige po babe… Thank you for everything… I’ll make you proud!” and he just whispered his “I love You’s” and we had said our goodbyes.

Dane always surprises me almost everyday. He is very unpredictable at times… But that’s one thing that I do love about him. He’s a mystery, but I do love that mystery in him. He unfolds to me everyday in a way that any other person could wish for. That is in a very good way. Love you baby!   

~*~

I just had picked up our Ford car in the casa on where its roof was fixed. It has been a while ever since I driven a vehicle. Dane usually drives, well it is his car anyways. Well it seems that now I do have a use with the car key that Dane has given me on that day that he proposed to me. I had a very difficult time on parking it because I am not really that good with my parking skills. Hehehe…

There were a lot of files on which I brought home from the office. Well it is literally a box of files. Usually my Dane carries those kinds of loads for me. And then I went into the elevator. It was empty. And then I pushed the button to the twelfth floor. And then I saw myself by the mirror on the elevator walls… I just closed my eyes. I can still remember the number of times on where my Dane plays with my hair every time that we ride our elevator. Upon reaching our floor, I then walked the empty hallways. And then to our door. I was a bit hesitant at first in going in but it’s the sad fact. That for a certain time, I would not be with my Dane.

I don’t feel like doing anything upon entering our condo. I just went straight to our room. It was empty, I just went into our bed and had wrapped around the white sheets all over me. And I just took his pillow… and I just broke into tears… I just felt that there was this gap in my heart that is somehow missing.

I just cried and cried. And it lasted for almost three hours.

And then my mobile phone just beeped. It was a message from Mandy… She had told me that she’s online and she asked me if we could have a chance to have a chat.

And so I already logged in. There were like a number of offline messages. From past suitors, dates, friends, well no ex-boyfriends because Dane is just my first and I know that he would certainly my last. And then Mandy just had buzzed me over my YM account.

MaddyStarr125: Hi der Raine… How r u doing der my future brother in-law?

Mandy is much like Dane, she never misses a moment on when I needed to smile.

MeteorRaine1109: I am doing a bit fine… I am sorry if I just logged on late… and my headset here is damaged.

MaddyStarr125: Hmmm… Raine, actually my brother Dane had already sent me a message. It came out as a surprise to me that he’s already here in the States. Well he didn’t actually give me any details on why he’s here in the U.S. But I got a feeling on why in just a short span of time he had just decided to just go here without letting me know. It is about his dad am I right?

I just became blank. Mandy again buzzed me.

MaddyStarr125: Raine? Is there something wrong? Come on tell me on what had just happen… Just trust me on this.

I just broke down into tears again. And then Mandy made a YM request.

MaddyStarr125 is inviting you to view her webcam.

And I also invited her with my webcam.

MaddyStarr125: Are you crying Raine? Please tell me what had just happened.

I know that Mandy had seen my almost sore and red eyes. You could see the agony on her face as she pleaded me to tell my part of the story. And somehow she already convinced me so. She was really shocked upon hearing on what had happen with the said incident with Dane’s dad Robert.

MaddyStarr125: To tell you honestly Raine. Uncle Robert had called me four days after my vacation there in the Philippines. And somehow he surprised me that he already knew about all about you and my brother Raine. But I didn’t confirm anything to him. He’s a bit persistent. But I didn’t falter to his trap.

MeteorRaine1109: Thanks sis! I do know that somehow you wanted to protect your brother from his dad.

MaddyStarr125: And I do also want to protect you.

MeteorRaine1109: Thanks you again Mandy! Thank you very much for all. You just don’t know how much it means to me to have you as my future sister-in-law… “,)

MaddyStarr125: Of course little brother… We’re family… and that is what families do…

MeteorRaine1109: But somehow there are still people who can’t understand that Dane and I are just two people who are in-love… Hmmm… Well I can’t really blame them. Maybe that is just how life is. For most of the people in this world, killing is taboo, stealing is taboo, and having a same sex relationship is taboo.

MaddyStarr125: Yes I somehow know that Raine… Life is somehow unfair… What may seem too taboo to other people, maybe not to others. It’s just a matter of fighting on what you believe in, and what you believe is right. As long as you do know that you don’t actually bother other people. And you’re happy. And then just be it! Happiness is a choice… We do make our own happiness in life. And it’s not them who’ll make us happy in the end. It’s our perception on how real happiness is achieved.

MeteorRaine1109: Yeah Mandy, I certainly agree on that… Anyways we can’t really please everybody right? “,)

MaddyStarr125: Yeah, that’s right!

MeteorRaine1109: Now I do feel much better now. Thanks Mandy!

MaddyStarr125: Just like what I’ve told you in my last visit there. I am the one who should be thanking you Raine. You’ve changed my brother into a better person. Well, it doesn’t mean that he’s somehow worse before… But Dane had a really rough time when he was still with Uncle Robert. Well I just do feel that I do have the responsibility to tell you all about my brother’s life before he went there to the Philippines. And anyways we’re family… I wish that after hearing his story. Your love for him would never change… That it would still be the same just like before…

MeteorRaine1109: I promise you sis, it won’t change a bit.

MaddyStarr125: You know… Life for my brother Dane in the States is not like bread and butter as it may seem just now. Uncle Robert was a very strict father. You do know how it is in the US Navy right? How disciplined they are… Plus the fact that he is raised Catholic, he is a very upright man, a man of great philosophies and values. I did left the house to pursue my acting career in New York and later I was then married to Allen. On his adolescent years my brother Dane was mostly raised by Uncle Robert. But Dane is a very carefree child. You’ve seen Dominic? He’s a handful right? Dane is much worst that my son, but in a good way. I do remember when one time he actually ate some dirt back in the garden. Uncle Robert then gave him slaps on his hand.

MeteorRaine1109: He really did that? Oh my! That is why on his YM account his nickname is DirtEaterDane1983, hehehe! (We just ended up laughing!)

MaddyStarr125: Yes he really does that… I do always visit them on summer vacations, and then there was this year when he was grounded by Uncle Robert, You know what Dane did?

MeteorRaine1109: What???

MaddyStarr125: For the whole time he was grounded, he didn’t have taken a bath and even changed his clothes. My brother Dane somehow became rebellious. It’s his way of fighting back to his dad.

MeteorRaine1109: And how long was that? I mean Dane not taking a bath.

MaddyStarr125: Two? Three weeks? Well I can’t really remember. He was just literally stinky. And that’s just it. (And then again Mandy and I laughed and laughed).

MeteorRaine1109: And what is he punished about?

MaddyStarr125: Just staying with a classmate of his, playing video games, without asking Uncle Robert his permission.

MeteorRaine1109: Is he really that strict?

MaddyStarr125: Yes… That is how strict he is… Well it got worse when my brother Dane became eighteen. Well technically he could just leave his dad and have it his own way. But he decided to stay. Well I am not that really sure why. But it then just happened. Endless parties, night outs, liquor, women… Name it, my brother Dane had it. Uncle Robert could not actually reprimand my brother by that time for the reason that Dane is already earning with his freelance job being a photographer.

MeteorRaine1109: Oh I see… (Kahit ako ay napaisip. What made my Dane stay with his dad).

MaddyStarr125: Well thank God all of that changed. Remember the time when we talked about Jenny and Dane?

MeteorRaine1109: Yes sis… I do know on how their love story started. That’s the very love story on were I fell in love with your brother Dane. He already told me about that story. That he left the States for the Philippines to pursue three things. That is to pursue his photography career, to have a new life, and to find his one true love.

MaddyStarr125: And that one true love is you Raine…

MeteorRaine1109: No Mandy. What he means by that is Jenny.

MaddyStarr125: Well, it didn’t work out for them. Maybe they are not destined. Let’s just say that Jenny is just a bridge that linked both of you. And that is why my brother Dane had found you.

I was flabbergasted. I didn’t know on what to say to Mandy.

MaddyStarr125: Hey Raine are you okay?

MeteorRaine1109: Don’t worry, I am very fine now.

Then Mandy’s phone rang. It was from his husband Allen.

MaddyStarr125: Hey Raine, I just needed to go now. Allen and I are going out for a date. It’s our wedding anniversary today.

MeteorRaine1109: Oh my, why didn’t you say so? Happy anniversary to you and please say my best wishes to Allen.

MaddyStarr125: Makakarating… Anyways, After two years and so… Dane and you would be also having your anniversaries… Anyways, I should be going now… Always take care of yourself there. And if there are problems, I am just a message away. Okay?

And I just saw Mandy’s sweetest smile. They have the same smile as my Dane’s. And then again I missed him. I miss him terribly.

31^st of July 2008

It’s a Thursday. It has been a very busy week in the office. My Dane too is even busy with his stay in the states. He called me four days ago telling me that he is going to be attending a photography convention on the coming days as well as seminars and workshops. So our only means of conversing and making love is via texting. Well in full fairness. We do also satisfy each other with such petty things much like making love via text.

As for me, after I’ve done my office work. I went driving to the new gym that our friend Nice had transferred in. It is not as polished or as sophisticated as the previous gym that my Dane had just stayed to. But it’s not the grandeur of the place why people go to gyms. It’s the intention of being fit that is more important in going on such places.

I came in late for Nice’s aerobics class because he had it in an earlier time slot which is about six in the evening. His regular aero time is usually seven and I arrived at about six thirty. So I just decided to wait for him at the small make up lounge of the said gym. After sometime, his aero class had finished.

“Hey bakla, I thought hindi ka na darating. Eh tapos na yung klase ko. Bakit nandito ka pa?” Nice told me.

“Well, I am already here. So might as well have a chit chat with you? Tagal na rin since nung huli tayo nagkita? So treat kita sa dinner okay?” I explained to him.

“Ganun? O sige… Dinner lang pala eh… Eh tutal nagugutom na rin ako… Hehehe… baka kung anu naman isipin ng asawa mong si Dane nyan… Hahaha! May pagkatopak pa naman din yun.” And Nice just giggled and giggled.

“He does know na kasama kita. I already texted him na na-late ako sa aero class ko. And he wants to say his regards to you…” I told him.

And so we went into a nearby food shop just across Nice’s gym. We had our orders and we started our much awaited chat.

“So, kamusta naman sya dun sa States ngayon?” Nice asked me while munching on the beef teriyaki that he ordered.

“He is quite busy this week… He’s on his way to this photography convention. Nagkataon na nasa Texas din yung event kaya ayun, hindi na niya pinalagpas…” I told Nice.

“Ahh ganun ba? Well that’s good to hear at okay naman pala siya dun. Eh ikaw, kamusta ka na?” Nice had made this stare as if he wanted me to divulge something.

“Huh, what’s with that stare?” I was wondering on what he meant by this.

“Wala naman… To be honest, medyo curious ako with what had happen with almost a month na sa inyong dalawa ni Dane.” Nice told me.

Sa totoo lang medyo naguguluhan ako sa ibig sabihin ni Nice, but somehow I do know on where this conversation is going.

And Nice continued. “The truth is Raine, kasama ako ni Dane nung araw na nawala ka… Hindi lang me nakasama kay Dane sa paghahanap kasi I had a scheduled class that night. Pero I am the one who gave him ideas on where to look for you… Pero please sana you don’t feel uneasy sa sinabi ko ha? Okay lang naman kahit hindi ka na magkwento…”

“Ah ayun ba...” and just like with Mandy I repeated my ordeal with Dane’s dad.

“Eh loko naman pala yung tang-inang tatay niyang si Dane eh…” Nice became suddenly became un-Nice.

“Eh well nangyari na eh… Ganun lang talaga siguro… I hope maayos man lang ni Dane kahit man lang yung samahan nila ng dad niya… Di bale na ako… I could handle myself naman eh…” I explained to him.

“Hmmm… Eh kung ako yung nasa kalagayan mo, minura ko na yun…” I could feel Nice’s oozing anger.

“Well, mukha nga at ayan kamumura mo lang sa kanya…” and I ended up laughing.

“Eh maiba nga pala ako… What happen na to those guys with the previous gym?” he asked me.

“Wala naman… Nung umalis kami ni Dane dun sa gym that was just it… Wala na akong narinig na balita about them… Bakit? Wala ba siya nakukwento sa iyo?” and I decided to give back to him the question.

“Hindi makwento yan si Dane eh… Minsan moody sa pg-kukwento. Pag gusto, ayun nagkukwento pero pag hindi… Hindi talaga…” and Nice just scratched his head.

“Yeah, in some ways Dane is still a mystery in me. Pero okay lang yun… Hindi naman ako nagmamadali sa lahat eh… Actually mas excited pako when I do learn a bit about him everyday. As if he is just like an unfolding book to me, waiting to be read…” and I continued on eating my fave tapsilog.

“That’s sweet naman… Hehehe…  Pero seryoso, sweet talaga ha… Pero akin lang ha… Remember those nothing to do good guys from the gym… Ingat ingat ka rin sa mga ganun ha… Next time you should be more cautious…” Nice warned me.

People could be that animalistic in some ways. Na hindi na nga nila naiisip from what’s right from wrong and all that they can think of is that they are the masters of the universe that they could get anything that they wanted, even in the expense of na may natatapakan silang tao. I do know that I wasn’t careful before, I’ve learned my lesson. And I should be more cautious most especially now, my Dane is in the States. For quite a time there wouldn’t be a knight in shining armor for me.

1^st of August 2008

Dane and I went online. He had a wi-fi internet connection in the hotel that he’s staying too. We became kinky, naughty, rowdy. I gave him a stripper dance on our webcam. It was a day of delight for both of us. Most especially because it’s the very first time that were spending our monthsary together apart. He came, it was so yummy and ate his own cum. He told me that he just thought that it was mines. I also did my part and did the same thing. Hahaha! 

2^nd of August 2008

Tats my pre-school to high school buddy/best friend texted me yesterday and has invited me to hang out tonight. And since he’s a common friend of Lucky, we three had decided to have a meet-up today at Robinson’s Manila, and later hit the streets and bars of Malate. Of course my Dane knew all about this. So after hitting work nagkita-kita na nga kaming tatlo. We just then ate some dinner. At ayun derecho kagad sa Malate. And of course we went to “Bed”, well it’s the “IT” bar for bi and gay guys alike.

Well, the crowd was as usual wild. There were bi’s who were chatting explicit things, man to man kissing, wild dancing. Well I do not mean anything about it. That is just a usual thing in a place were we do hang out. So we three already decided to hit on the bar and to have our drinks. I just had my usual light beer, Tats had his Cosmo, and I think Lucky also had a Martini. Someone had immediately talked with Lucky.

“I might as well enjoy this. Hindi naman nagpaparamdam lately si Ivan.” And he went dancing with this guy named Adam.

So Tats and I went into Bed Bar’s second floor were the couches were located.

“How are you naman? Lucky and I were texting two days ago and balita ko that everything is doing fine with you… What’s the name of your lover again?” as he started on sipping his drink.

“His name is Dane… He’s currently in the States now. He’s attending a photography convention in Texas.” I just decided on not opening the incident about Dane’s dad, it is not because that I don’t trust him, rather ayaw ko lang palakihin yung incident with my hubby’s dad.

“Ah okay… Ang saya naman… It has been a while na hindi tayo naghahangout na tatlo. I’ve been very busy lately. You do know how demanding our industry is. Two months ago was the Philippine fashion week. Then there was the month of June. Ang daming demanding na mga brides. Ang hirap i-juggle lahat. Lalo na ang lovelife and sexlife…” and he just ended up laughing at himself.

“Why what’s wrong with your lovelife/sexlife?” as I stress out the “slash” between the two words.

“Well maswerte ka at stable ka with your so-called  lovelife/sexlife… Eh ako, ang hirap…” at napapa-iling lang si Tats sa sinabi niya.

“Why? Haven’t you forgotten Niño yet?”  Hindi ka pa rin nagmomove on sa kanya?” Niño was his long time crush na hindi rin nagwork out for him.

“Anu ba yan… Balikan ba raw ang nakaraan? Bakla, Niño and I never had a special connection or bond. So bakit naman hindi ako mag-momove on?” Tats said defensively.

“Yeah, si Niño walang special connection sayo. Pero definitely ikaw meron.” I told him straight on his face.

“Bakla ka talaga. Bakit obvious ba talaga yung sa amin ni Niño before?” Tats was turning red by that time.

“Oo naman no. Ewan ko ba kung bakit hindi naging kayo, Eh mukha naming kayo naman.” And I continue on drinking my light beer.

“Ayy, tigilan na nga natin sya. He’s just a waste of time. Let’s just talk about Bee, Alecz and Tolits…” and Tats was like laughing out loud. It was so loud that my eardrums were almost broken.

 “Ganun? At tatlo pa sila ngayon… Hindi ka naman masyadong promiscuous.” Sabi ko kay Tats.

“Hindi naman noh. And besides wala namang sex na nangyayari… Hmmm… Actually meron… Well boyfriend ko kasi yung isa. Si Tolits, CPA sya who works for a TV network. Kaso naguguluhan talaga ako. I am on the verge of ditching him off. Anyways it’s just a month pa lang naman. Ay ewan ko ba kasi dun. Umeeffort naman ako pero parang kulang pa.” and he just shook his head down.

Si Tats talaga complex yang friend ko na yan. Hindi mo malaman kung magseryoso. O gusto niyang seryosohin siya. It’s just like hindi niya alam kung saan siya lulugar. Lalo pa ngayon, he’s beginning to look gorgeous. His visits to the gym are somehow now paying off. Kaya ayan tatlo ang kinakarir.

“Eh ikaw bakla, how do you work it out with him?” Suddenly he asked me this question, while the dance floor played one of our gay national anthem, which is “Shining Star”.

Napaisip ako. Pano ko nga ba na wowork out ang relasyon namin ni Dane.

“We just simply go with the flow.” Yung lang ang nasabi ko in that very moment.

“Huh? Paano yun? Care to explain?” mukhang naguluhan nga siya sa sinabi ko.

“Medyo complex kung i-explain ko eh. Sige, try ko, Let’s just say that we just compromise. Totoo naman yung basic truth about relationships eh, give and take lang yan. Para tama ba ang timpla. Kasi lahat ng sobra nakakasama, and nakakasawa. Eh pag kulang naman eh, ayan puro reklamo, kaya naghahanap ng iba. So dapat pinag-uusapan. Para tamang tama ang concoction. Just like in a drink, pag may kulang walang lasa. Pag sobra, halos masuka ka na…” at yung nga ang nasabi ko sa kanya.

“Baklush, masyado kang matalinhaga. Sayo na lahat ng trophy at award. Isama mo na pati crown ha?” at tumawa siya ng tumawa.

“Gaga ka! So what about naman with Bee and Alecz? Eh, mukhang hihiwalayan mo na yung Tolits na yun eh.” I told Tats.

“Well Bee is just an acquaintance, gym buddy, nauna ko pa siyang nakilala kay Tolits, ayun mukhang promising sa simula. Pero hanggang ganun na lang eh. Eh si Alecz naman eto mukhang promising talaga.” And you could see the excitement on his eyes upon mentioning Alecz’ name.

“Anu yan… Mayroon Past, Present and Future? Para kang bumingo girl!” at tumawa na naman kami ng tumawa.

“Ewan ko sis. Mukhang sincere naman siya.” Tats explained.

“Well tiyak gwapo naman yan anu, just like Niño? Bakla rendahan mo na kasi ang puso mo. Isama mo na rin yung mata mo. Physical attraction is different from the emotional attraction. Kasi pag emotionally attracted ka na. Yung physical factor would just fade away… Magiging neutral lang…” at itinuloy ko lang ang aking sermon. At sumagot naman ang bakla.

“Opo, mother superior.” And we laughed and laughed. It just so happened na palapit na si Lucky karay-karay ang kasayaw niyang si Adam.

“Oh, this might be your Lucky night, Lucky!” Tats jokingly told him.

Well Adam is cute alright, but he looks like a player. Kung sabagay mukhang rin naman player si Lucky. So why not play the game as well right? It just so happen that another friend of Adam was there and he introduced him to us. The sounds were a bit too loud that I almost didn’t hear his name. So nilapit niya yung ulo niya sa akin.

“My name is Ken… I’m just new here… So what’s yours?” isasagot ko sana Barbie, kaso baklang bakla naman.

“Adrian’s my name, but you could just call me Raine… So what brings you here in the country?” I asked him.

“Well I am just here for some vacation. Then I would be coming back to Australia. I am just visiting some relatives here.” And suddenly Ken became touchy.

I don’t want to be rude at him. Hindi naman ako ganun karahas na tao, so ako na ang umiwas sa kanya. I just had made an excuse that I am just going at the comfort room. Sa totoo lang medyo natakot ako. I don’t know what to do.  Kaya after kong pumunta ng CR I just told my goodbyes eh tutal naman medyo late na rin, at may make-up gym session pa ako with Nice tomorrow.  

3^rd of August 2008

My mobile phone was ringing at about six in the morning. It was my Dane… I really do miss him dearly…

“Hi baby, I just came home from the seminar that I just attended. So how was the party last night? Are there many hot boys there?” as my baby teases me in that Sunday early morning.

“Well, nothing changed… You do know people there. Hehehe… Hot yeah… The typical hot boys were there… But they are not as hot as you my baby…” and I started on talking about some kinky things.

“Really? It’s just four in the afternoon here… And you’re already making me hard right now…” as Dane told me in a lustful manner.

“Yeah babe… And I would be your afternoon delight…” and I started seducing him over the phone.

My Dane never gets tired when it comes to that thing called making love. Imagine, he just came from a very tiring, time consuming seminar of his and still his libido is that high that he could still be sexual for me. Hehehe… In the end we both ended up cumming… Hehehe…

And then I told him to have his rest. He bid me goodnight and I told him my good mornings and we said our goodbyes. And after about an hour I went straight to the gym to meet our friend Nice for my scheduled personal training on the gym.

8^th of August 2008

For almost a week our routine went this way, he calls then we talk of our daily routine in work. He never had talk about the developments about his talk with his dad. We make love over the phone or sometimes while we are online. I just feel generic, ordinary. I terribly miss him, his touch, his warmth, his skin against mine… The only thing that I could have from his at this time his oh so thoughtful voice, those angelic eyes and simply his smile…

Dane… I’m going to be insane here… I just hope that you do come home na…

9^th of August 2008

Today is my late mom’s birthday! Happy birthday ma!

It’s a Saturday night again. Gimmick night! Feeling ko napapadalas na naman ang pag-gimik ko. Hindi naman ako pinipigilan ni Dane eh. He told me that he doesn’t want me to be like a prisoner in the house, kaya ayun and tutal naman daw kasama ko si Lucky. And kung sabagay, alam ko naman yung responsibility ko, lalo na when I do visit in those kind of places.

Speaking of Lucky… Ayun nagaaya na naman, mukhang heartbroken na talaga. At dun pa ako inaya sa bath house somewhere in Taft Ave., Well I have nothing against it naman, sa katunayan members pa kami ni Dane dun. It has been a while nga since we visited that place. Ayun, nauna pa sakin pumunta dun. And that proves it that he is indeed broken hearted. He usually comes in our meet ups late. I just saw him along the bar. Drinking, on his third bottle na siguro.

“Hey ikaw naman yata ang nakainom sating dalawa?” I told Lucky.

“Well ibahin mo ako sayo anu. At least I could handle myself. I do know na makakauwi pa ako.” Lucky said defensively.

“Ah okay, sorry naman, eh sa madali akong tamaan eh… Eh anu bang nangyari sayo?” I asked him.

He suddenly became quiet. And he just said… “Si Ivan kasi eh…”

“O, I though you were dating Adam?” I got puzzled all of a sudden.

“Anu ka ba… Adam is a player. Nilaro laro ko lang din sya. Ivan is a different story…” I just saw Lucky with his eyes now teary.

“Ganun? Eh anu ba ang story ni Ivan?” tinanong ko siya.

“Well, somehow kasi emotionally invested nako sa kanya. Napakasweet niya kasi, napakacompulisve ko kasi pag ganyan. Pag pinakitaan ako ng something.” And Lucky continued drinking on his fourth bottle of beer.

“Eh sweet naman pala eh. So, what’s the problem with that?” kahit ako naguguluhan na.

“Well just recently I find out nakitulog yung isang baklitang co-worker ko sa kanya. The worse is pinag-kalat pa niya na nakitulog siya. Anu ba yun? Well that fucking bitch does know na we’re dating pa naman. I thought he was a friend. Yun pala he’s a fucking back-stabbing bitch!” I was amused that he was already half of his fourth bottle.

“Eh baka naman nakitulog lang naman? You haven’t confirmed anything na ginawa nila right?” as I gave him a rational advice.

“I don’t know friend kung sa bundok ka ba nakatira or what. You do know dapat how the gay and bi scene works? Swerte mo lang that you do have your Dane.” Lucky told me while munching on some nachos for his pulutan.

“Yeah yeah… Alam ko naman…” sagot ko sa kanya.

“Well hindi naman kasi un ang issue. Kilala mo naman ako, di ba? Pag ayaw sakin ako na ang lumalayo di ba?” and he just finished his fourth bottle. He asked for another bottle, kaso ubos na ang San Mig Light.

“Pilsen na lang… Meron ba?” Lucky asked the bartender.

“Eh sir ubos na rin po… Red Horse po meron pa…” the bartender answered.

“Okay sige, Ikaw Raine? Red Horse gusto mo pa ba?” my friend Lucky suggested.

“Nope, okay nako dito with my last bottle…” ayaw ko na kasing tamaan ng lintik, hehehe.

And the bartender already gave him his fifth beer bottle, “So nasan na nga ba tayo… Well, gusto ko na nga syang layuan, kaso he keeps on bothering me. Pumupunta pa sa bahay. Minsan nga hindi ko na pinapansin. Hindi ko hinaharap.” Lucky explained to me.

“Eh teka nga. Ilang taon na ba yang Ivan na yan?” napakamot ako ng ulo.

“Nineteen?” he told me giggling.

“Eh kaya naman pala eh…” I told Lucky.

“Sweet kasi sya sobra… Ewan ko ba, I might be twenty five now, kaso may pagka isip bata pa rin ako…” natatawa niyang sinabi.

“Well given naman yun, in some degree lahat naman tayo may pagka isip bata di ba? Eh kaso kumuha ka ng bata? Alam mo naman ang mga bata, iba mag isip yan. Syempre nag-eenjoy pa yan…” I became my mother superior mode that night.

“O sya… Nawa’y matigil nako sa kabaliwan na ito. Mag-iikot na lang muna ako ha… Malay mo makita ko na siya dito.” And Lucky went roaming around the places inside the bath house.

I just decided to stay along the bar. Some people approach me for some clean talk. I am not that rude to just snob them. Anyways Dane and I do that when we are in bars and bath houses. We do socialize somehow with other people. Then after about an hour or so… Lucky just came back, to my surprise…

“Hey friend where is your towel?” the towel that is covering his crouch was missing. I told the bartender to get me a new one.

So I covered him with the towel. Imagine he had another three Red Horse bottles. So at about one in the morning, I drove him of to his place in Pasay and I also went home to go to sleep.

10^th of August 2008

I went to church today alone… without my Dane… I do hope and pray that he comes home na and somehow he would settle his issue over his dad.

16^th of August 2008

Monday – Work sa work, work pa rin sa bahay.

Tuesday – Work sa work pa rin, super busy, then pag-uwi work pa rin kaso work-out sa gym.

Wednesday – Work sa work dami interviews, tapos orientation, pag-uwi derecho sa meeting with a client = work

Thursday – Work sa work, process papers, pag-uwi laundry work.

Friday – Work sa work ulit, Final interviews ng ibang batch, ayyyyyyyyyy pahinga na salamat!...

And Saturday then came… Wala naman akong magawa. Nung umaga nakatunganga lang ako sa aming 46” inch Samsung Flatscreen TV sa room namin ni Dane. Marathon ng mga old Filipino love stories sa Cinema One. Napakabakya ko anu? Imagine patulan ko ba raw si Marvin at Jolina, Hey Babe! Hahaha…

Dane never had called me since yesterday. I just received several texts. Kaya I decided na lang to get online.

It just so happen that a colleague of mine that is now based in the States is somehow online. And he buzzed me.

Gabo_24: Hey Raine musta ka na? Nandito rin pala si Dane sa States? Kaso nasa Texas pala siya… Nakita ko sa Facebook nyo eh…

MeteorRaine1109: Yeah he has been there siguro mga three weeks na? So how’s New York? Anu na balita sa inyo ni JM? Hey tawagan na lang kita ha.

Buti na lang at nakabili nako ng bagong headset. Ang hirap kaya makipagonline make-love kay Dane ng nagtatype at nag hahand signals sa webcam. Hahaha…

“Si Agu ko ba? Nandito na siya. He’s now pursuing his career as a nurse.” As Gab explained it to me. “Agu” is the term of endearment that he uses for his love of his life JM. While JM calls Gab as “iel” short for Gabriel.

“Wow that’s good to hear at least mag-kasama na kayo...” na-iinggit naman ako. Nakita ni Gab na nag-make face ako sa webcam.

“What’s with the face? May nangyari ba sa inyo ni Dane?” Gab worriedly asked me.

“Hiwalay na kasi kami…” and I I hid myself from the webcam kasi natawa ako.

“What? Tell me you’re just kidding…” it came out as a shock to him.

“Joke lang… Alam mo naman we’re inseperable… Well maliban ngayon kasi nandyan sya sa US…” I told him.

“Anu ka ba? Uuwi din yun ano… Alam ko naman napaka kati nyong dalawa…” and Gab just laugh out loudly.

“Alam ko naman na uuwi sya eh… Kaso I’m getting impatient na… Dapat kasi isinama niya na lang ako?” sabi ko kay Gab.

“Bakit may US visa ka ba? Hahaha!” at pinagtawanan lang ako ng bakla.

“Wala, sabi ko nga eh… Pero seriously… Eh kayo? Pano nyo ba na-work out ni Agu mo nung nagtagal pa siya dito sa Pinas?” bigla nagseryoso ang boses ko.

“Hmmm… well somehow naramdaman ko yang nararamdaman mo ngayon. Well in fact mas severe pa nga ung samin. Imagine, nine months akong naghintay sa kanya. Para akong nagbuntis sa kakahintay sa kanya. Pero eto nalagpasan naman namin. And he’s already here. It’s just a matter of patience, trust, and a good outlandish webcam sex… Hahaha! Pero it worked ha… Kailangan mo lang is creativity when you make love with him. Kahit sa webcam man lang. Na somehow you do find or discover new ways to further excite him. Or somehow he would excite you…” as Gab explained it to me.

Kaya napaisip ako bigla. That is why Dane is doing those kinda bizarre things lately. One time he took this spoon from the hotel and inserted the handle of it in his ass. It looked really painful, kasi halos maiyak siya. Sabi niya kasi inisip niya na it was my thing that was inside of his.

At first I do find it quite obscene, but it just grew into me, in short, I also got aroursed.

Then Gab just buzzed me.

“Hoy okay ka lang lumilipad utak mo!” my collegue friend told me.

“… Hindi okay naman me… Sige I’ll follow your advice… Ngayon alam ko na ang gagawin ko…” somehow I do know something that would top off my Dane’s stunt.

~*~

That very night I already had prepared all the things that I needed for my baby’s love-making delight, but tonight was quite different among other nights and I surely know that he would definitely love it. He already had texted me that he would get online, and that he really had missed me and our making love.

It was about eight in the evening when I got online.

DirtEaterDane1983 is inviting you to view his webcam.

And I also invited him with mines. And so, he already made me a call. Dane was already shirtless while I am still wearing my grey slim fit v-neck top. I could hear him while gasping for some air. He usually does that, seducing me with that kind of sound. But I didn’t fall for that or else my plan for tonight would be going into waste.

I left our PC and turned off the lights… The room was dead silent.

DirtEaterDane1983: Baby? Nasan ka na? Bakit nawala ka?

BUZZ!

BUZZ!

DirtEaterDane1983: Ui! What’s happening with you there?

DirtEaterDane1983: Babe… That’s not a good joke ha?

DirtEaterDane1983: Anu ba?

DirtEaterDane1983: Babe…

BUZZ!

DirtEaterDane1983: Babe naman… If you think that I am quite pleased with this, naiinis nako…

BUZZ!

BUZZ!

DirtEaterDane1983: Baby koh…

DirtEaterDane1983: Baby koh…

DirtEaterDane1983: Baby koh…

DirtEaterDane1983: Baby koh…

DirtEaterDane1983: Baby koh…

BUZZ!

BUZZ!

NEXT CHAPTER:
The Homophobic Series Book 2-A: (CHAPTER 6) "A Journey to Remember"
http://boykissesbydane.blogspot.com/2011/06/homophobic-series-book-2-chapter-6.html